Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
did you just send me my own nude
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
