You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
