Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
