Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
