she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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