sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
