I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
