My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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