If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
