At least make sure they are 18
Why
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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