Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
two words...techno handjob
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
