dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
