man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
