It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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