God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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