Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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