i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
