Where did you get a picture of my penis
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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