WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
