Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Randomize
