i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
40s are totally the cure
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
