You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The uberlube is also flammable
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
