my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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