So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
