Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
