its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
