I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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