Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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