My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
