At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
