All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
