I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
