maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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