marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
