When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
