scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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