All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
only you would photoshop your dick
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
