Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
