I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Did I show you my penis last night?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
