If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
