you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Im part way to drunk.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
