A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
