True but thats because hes a fetus.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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