Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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