I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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