I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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