Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
my liver is dry heaving
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
