The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
