Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
