none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
