Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
